My Alien Roommate Read online

  The maid of honor I was born to be gives me a swift kick to the ass. I’m going to make the most of our time together, I mentally reaffirm. I told Sarah celebration mode and damn it if we aren’t going to be in celebration mode. No sadness, no drama, the world isn’t ending, it’s only changing. Hell, I’m not even going to worry about the roommate situation.

  On second thought…that last part is a bad idea. There is no way I can afford next month’s rent on my own, and maid of honor or not, I am not made of money. I guess I can be 50% hardcore celebration mode, 50% roommate hunter. Beyond that, I’ll just have to count on the stars aligning and everything working out. Optimism, with a healthy dose of hard work—the recipe for good karma.

  Chapter 2

  Dorran

  Somewhere in Space

  “What terrible fate to thrust upon our children,” my father laments wearily.

  “I am grown, Father. I’d like to think I’m more responsible for my fate than you are.”

  The old man grimaces and wipes sweat from his brow. “Not today, it seems.”

  “You forget that I’m the one who has agreed to this arrangement.”

  “Arrangement? It’s blackmail is what it is.”

  “We have struck a deal, that is all that matters,” I remind him.

  “Fuck Niro Hydera. If those outskirt worlds didn’t need the metals from his mines I’d kick his ass so hard he’d taste my Gods damned boot. And Tereza—that poor girl. How he can attempt to make a deal at the expense of his own daughter’s happiness is beyond me.” My father’s mustache turns down, emphasizing his frown, but there is nothing I can do to assuage his upset.

  Our primary supplier for the precious metals necessary to build our security array satellites is, in fact, blackmailing us. He wishes his daughter married and for one reason or another, he has chosen me as a satisfactory candidate for the job.

  But arranged marriages are a thing of the past for my people, the Kuytu Tetrani. And luckily so, because that fact gave us the ability to negotiate. The terms were as such—I would still receive my Kasal Panaw—my mate finding journey. Only, it would be months in advance and have a specified time limit.

  Because of this rush Niro Hydera is insisting upon, I have not been able to acquire any of the primary components for my journey, but it makes no difference. This is the most important thing I will ever do in my life. Therefore, I cannot fail. Though…I do seem to be failing at convincing my father of that fact.

  I release a heavy sigh and continue the manual systems check on my ship, trying to tune out my father’s worries. I worry too, but more than anything I am hopeful. I believe there is reason and order to the universe. If I am to go on my Kasal Panaw two seasons early, then so be it. Perhaps my mate is out there right now, looking for me, and this is what will bring our paths together. I choose to think fate is the driving force here and not Niro Hydera.

  That being said, if Niro’s daughter is to be my fate, then so be it…even if it is a well-known fact that her romantic inclinations tend towards the female population. At least we’ll have that in common, I silently muse.

  My father follows me around my ship, pacing and muttering to himself until I can stand it no longer. “Have you no faith in me, old one?” I demand.

  He looks at me and scoffs. “There’s not a soul in the entire universe that I trust more than you.”

  “So trust me in this. My Kasal Panaw will be successful. I will find my life-mate on this journey and all will end well. Tereza and I will not find ourselves in a loveless marriage and she’ll be free to go and secure her own happiness. Then, we can get back to work on the defense systems for the outer worlds.”

  He shakes his head, still dismayed. “You deserve more than this,” my father tells me, his voice pained. “A Kasal Panaw should be the most joyous mission of your life—”

  “And it still will be!” I promise.

  “Without your entourage? Not even Regor is here to accompany you!”

  “As I’ve said, I am grown. I do not need the help of others to woo my mate.”

  “And this time limitation,” my father huffs, resuming his angry pacing.

  “Again, you make me question your faith in me! How long do you really think it’ll take for a female to fall in love with your handsome son?”

  My father gives me a skeptical look and scrubs his sweating brow again, muttering both his curses and his prayers.

  “You haven’t even studied this world you’re going to!”

  “I have been there before!” I counter.

  “You were 13!”

  “Granted some time has passed…”

  My father lets out a groan.

  “I remember Earth well,” I promise.

  “You remember beautiful females. But that isn’t worth a damn if you don’t know shit about their culture!”

  “Faith, Father, your faith… I have already downloaded entertainment vids onto the ship’s computer.”

  He huffs, unimpressed. “Entertainment vids.”

  “They’re specific to the region I am traveling to and everything. I’ll be able to synth my clothes to match perfectly. I’ll learn the local dialect—use Earth slang. Who needs a cultural anthropologist? I’ll fit right in!” I proclaim.

  “Fuck me…” my father laments, digging in the nearby tool cart for the liquor he knows I keep tucked in the back. He doesn’t bother with a glass. “My son. My only son. It is his Kasal Panaw and there has been no celebration—”

  “We can celebrate when I come home with my bride.”

  “No entourage—”

  “I can comm Regor anytime I wish.”

  “And he’s got entertainment vids in lieu of a cultural anthropologist!”

  I cross my arms over my chest. “I don’t have a security detail either.”

  My father rolls his eyes at me. “I don’t see how you can approach this with humor.”

  “It is my Kasal Panaw, Father. A joyous occasion, regardless of the circumstances.” I approach him—my father, my business partner, and one of my dearest friends. I know him well, and I know all this anger of his is a cover for the sadness dwelling just beneath the surface.

  “You deserve better,” he tells me again, his gruff voice finally cracking. I wrap my arms around him, offering my comfort.

  “I am at peace with this,” I promise. “It is the right choice for the company and for the outer worlds too.”

  “But is it the right choice for you?”

  I give my father a grin. “Right now, somewhere on Earth, my mate is eagerly awaiting my arrival.”

  My father rolls his eyes again. “Let’s just hope she confuses cockiness with charm until you’re officially bound,” he says, taking another swig from the bottle, but there is finally a smile in his eyes and I hear him mutter, “All will be well.”

  Chapter 3

  Dorran

  Earth, Two Weeks Later

  I engage the cloaking device on my ship and glide seamlessly into Earth’s atmosphere. I should be taking in the beauty of this world, but I find myself distracted as I enter my landing coordinates. Fate has always been my guiding force, but it’s been a long journey in solitude and doubt creeps into the recesses of my mind. This is not how my Kasal Panaw was supposed to go.

  Many generations ago, it was customary for marriages amongst my people to be arranged. But such practices eventually became viewed as outdated and adjustments were made. Now, every Kuytu Tetrani has the freedom to go on a pilgrimage first, the Kasal Panaw, in an attempt to find one’s own chosen life-mate. And if their pilgrimage fails, then they follow through with the marriage agreement their parents have procured.

  I had at least two more seasons before I was meant to begin my search for a mate, but Niro Hydera had other plans and I became a convenient pawn. My family’s company relies heavily on Niro’s mining operations. If not for the raw materials he provides us, we couldn’t build the equipment we use to protect less developed worlds. Long story short, we nee
d him. And when rumors began to spread of Niro’s daughter’s sexual interests, he decided he needed me too. I became the focal point of our latest contract.

  For whatever his reason, Niro wishes to quell these rumors about Tereza and he erroneously believes that an expedited wedding will do the trick. My father refused the contract’s terms, of course. To go on a pilgrimage for one’s mate is perhaps the most sacred of traditions amongst my people and my father would never rob me of that. But one of us had to be logical, and so, I accepted the deal—with some conditions. And our agreement came down to this—I would still have a chance at my Kasal Panaw, it would just happen sooner than expected and I would only be allowed one of Earth’s lunar cycles.

  Niro was happy with the terms. He thinks he’s got this wedding in the bag. But the conditions don’t matter in the least. Because when it comes down to it, not only am I an optimist, but I am a charming and handsome optimist at that. Surely finding a mate on Earth will be an easy task. And when I do find my mate, none will be able to stand in the way of our bond. Not even Niro.

  I’ll have to get by without some key elements of my Kasal Panaw, but what’s it matter? I can always improvise. I’m good at improvising.

  I’m supposed to have a full entourage with me—all my closest friends, security guards, a cultural anthropologist to help my group navigate this alien world. But, because of these expeditious circumstances, I have none of that. Not even my best friend, Regor. This is the most important mission of my life, and I must endure it alone. I will prevail however. Nothing is more important to me than finding a life-mate. A female I will love with all of my four hearts. And that is something that will never happen for Tereza and me. I will never make her soul sing with the passion that it should for her mate. Could we be friends? No doubt. But lovers? Soul mates? Never.

  Earth is where I will find my mate, I am sure of it. It was years ago that I chose this place for my pilgrimage, on a visit as a youth with my family. I was at that cusp of childhood, leading into adolescence, when females suddenly become unbearably beautiful and you think you know all there is to know about the universe. But there was one thing I did know for certain. That when it was time for my Kasal Panaw, I would return to this place--where the females are the most beautiful in all the galaxy, and I would find my bride.

  I just hope I have prepared myself well enough. I should have had months to study, but instead I was forced to do all my research on the voyage over. And through entertainment vids, at that. While they have proven to be a useful resource in the past when traveling to new worlds, I have to hope that will be the case with Earth as well.

  I was able to narrow down the recordings to the specific region of the continent I’ll be visiting—the Western plains of North America. I believe the vids have been helpful. From them, I’ve derived information on the proper and most current attire—which is strikingly different from what was popular during my last visit (it is lucky that I did the research; I would hate to look foolish). And while I know English thanks to my translator, I have now picked up some of the local dialect and slang as well—and sometimes that is all you need to fit in amongst the aliens.

  Finally, I gaze out the view screen, enthralled by the terrain and taking a moment to absorb the reality of this moment—I am embarking on the most crucial mission of my life, one that will bring me a lifetime of joy. I will be successful here, I tell myself, as I am in all my endeavors. I am a competent male and have had many females bid for my attention. It will be no different here than it is on any other world in the sun systems I’ve visited.

  Hells, I can think of this as one of my recovery missions. I am one of the very best artifact recovery technicians in my family’s company. And those jobs are far more technical than this. All I must do here is garner the attention of the perfect female. Simple. I will return home with a bride, saving both myself and poor Tereza from a loveless marriage, and hells, I might even do it in less than the allotted time.

  I fill my pockets with stacks of the local currency and when the ship’s computer beeps at me, I know that I have landed.

  “Computer, give me live vid feed of the bridge.” Suddenly I am staring at myself on the monitor. I adjust my cocks and tighten the buckling mechanism looped around my waist, marveling over what strange things humans are wearing these days. Truly, much has changed in the years since I have visited. Such a dynamic world…

  Looking myself over, I can’t help but laugh. I appear positively human. Not only because of the clothing, but because of the skin tint I’ve applied to mimic human flesh tones. Humans come in pinks and browns, very unlike my race. We are naturally vibrant shades of purple, just as the sky is when the suns of the Kuytu Tetrani are setting. Still, the stark contrast between our species does not make humans any less beautiful. No, humans have an exotic and earthy quality about them. I suppose that is why they call this place after the soil, I muse.

  I pull my hat down low on my head and turn my attention to the nav unit. I’ve landed my ship in a forested mountain region not far from a bustling maritime city. I imagine the females who thrive in a place like this will do well on my world—the climate and the landscapes are not so different. I double check my ship’s cloaking system in the computer and do a second scan outside before I allow myself to turn and face this world.

  And it’s just as beautiful as it was the last time I was here. All around me there are trees. Shrubby and green. The hills roll ahead of me and in the distance I can see an exotic city and even farther still, I can see the deep blue of this world’s ocean. I suck in a breath, trying to smell it—to taste it.

  Even if I do not have an entourage with me, the importance of this journey is still powerful to my soul. I take a moment to give a prayer of reverence to the spirits for allowing me the gift of this opportunity. And then, I start my trek. It will take hours to make the hike down the mountain and find my way to the city below.

  I will need lodging first and foremost. And then perhaps I can acquire a guide. I have certainly brought enough currency along with me to do both and I can always return to my ship if I need more. Then, I will waste no time in beginning the hunt for a mate.

  The trek down the mountain is long, but my thoughts are swimming with hope. My mate is down there somewhere, waiting for me. Perhaps she needs me as much as I need her and some unseen force is urgently drawing us together. I think of all the stars that had to align for this journey to be here and now. Perhaps fate is the driving force? It makes me all the more excited to find my bride. What will she be like and will I know her right away—by her beauty or her scent?

  I consider the females from the Earth vids and how my mate might be like them. Will her hair be dark like the night, or shine like the sun? Briefly, I wonder about the type of dress she might wear. If it will be modest or cinched tight at the waist? Will it hang low on her neckline, offering a teasing view of the swells of her breasts? The answers will be thrilling to discover.

  It does take quite a while to get into town, and when I do, I immediately notice the natives staring at me. I give them my greetings and most are returned, if somewhat trepidatiously.

  “Howdy!” I call. Some call their howdys in return. Others offer simple hellos. A few give me questioning looks.

  Studying the situation I’d have to guess that their caution is because of my size. I am noticing that I am slightly taller than the majority of the humans I see. I do not recall that fact from the only other time I was here…but perhaps that’s because I was a youth and all adults seemed tall back then. It does not matter however; I will simply smile and be charming and it will quell their fears. I tip my hat at the next set of pedestrians—and while the male looks at me with curiosity, his female offers a wide grin. Confident once more, I venture onward.

  Once in the heart of the city I allow my nose to lead me. There are many scents on the breeze. The sea, the exhaust from the rudimentary land vessels humans use to propel themselves around the surface. And there are sweeter scents
too. Like food hanging on the air. And, much more importantly, there is the scent of females. Instinct tells me which are at the peak of their fertility cycle…and those females…they are attractive to me. But I am looking for more than just a womb. I wish to find a partner in life.

  Unsure of where I should go and content to simply watch these aliens, I decide to stop for a while to study them until I have my bearings. Luckily there is a bench right along the road. I take a seat and am amused to see a female riding past on some kind of self-propelled, two-wheeled device that she must peddle to make it drive her onward. I laugh aloud, wanting to try such a thing. But she comes and goes far too fast on her surprisingly effective method of travel. I make a mental note to ask my mate where I can acquire one for myself. Once I acquire my mate, of course.

  Looking at the humans, I notice that many of them, male and female alike, keep furred animals leashed to them as they traverse the roadways. It is something familiar. I like that humans have this in common with my people. On all four of the Kuytu worlds pets are kept in some fashion or another. Perhaps my mate and I will acquire a small beast together, maybe even an Earthling one. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to find a small pup or kit to raise together? As practice for child rearing.

  I cross my legs and lean back on the bench, appreciating this alien world and its warm sun, but after a while, a large land vessel pulls up in front of me, blocking my view of the street. I stare at it in dismay, waiting for it to depart, but a door along the side opens and its pilot stares down at me as if he’s waiting for something. I look around, but he is staring only at me.

  Perhaps he’s offering a ride in his vessel? I rise, unsure, and climb aboard his ship. Inside, it seems to be a cargo hold designed especially for transporting a large number of humans. I cast my gaze over the passengers. Some are elderly, others are male or youths, but there are no females of mating age. Still, it might be interesting to experience this method of travel. I look to the pilot for direction.